The whole visit easily wins +15, every line dripping with shade so subtle it doesn't even transcribe properly when unaccompanied by Lena Headey's eyebrows.
GAME OF THRONES SHUSH MOVIE
After giving a heartfelt speech to (the still useless) Tommen Baratheon about all the things she'd do for his happiness, she goes and visits Margaery Baratheon in her red cell, where - dang! - the queen seems to be quickly deteriorating. On this movie website, everything is organized for your comfort, i.e., 2 categories on the website. If Jaime Lannister is the twisted version of a fairy tale prince, then Cersei is his logical princess, surrounding herself with a team of sparrows that cheerfully tie a noose around her neck.
That seemed as good as any a note to end on this week, but oh no - we still had to catch up with Cersei Lannister's glorious self-immolation. True parenting media brand aficionados will appreciate this: I got to hang with Micaela Birmingham and Alison Bucalo from Scary Mommy THE DAD AND SCARY MOMMY A. (Man, the last season of Mad Men got weird!) Oh, also, here's your weekly -10 for still being stuck in this dumb plotline. Take it from Don Draper, Jaime - you can't just decide to be a dad when it suddenly feels convenient or makes you feel better about your track record as a parent, especially when your daughter doesn't even know she's your illegitimate incest lovechild. Game of Thrones would never have become a television-changing sensation if it werent for the early death of Ned Stark or the transformation of Jaime Lannister or the unforgettable evil of. "You don't know me," she spits at Jaime (+10), which is a classic deadbeat dad burn and also pretty much exactly what her mother said at the top of the season. It turns out she has very little attachment or loyalty to King's Landing these days - it's all about her dreamy Trystane Martell. Those Dornish, so civilized! Jaime has a long-time-no-see chat with his niece / daughter ("You had more hair," she says uncomfortably "And more hands," he quips - +5 - summing up his character arc very succinctly). Let's go to Dorne, where I was genuinely shocked to see Jaime Lannister in a comfortable chamber with lots of light after his attempted kidnapping of Myrcella. Let's get out of the north, where Winter and Old Age and Rape still appear to have free, boring reign.
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